Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Wedding Engdings
Tales from places below MEASATThe stage is all set and everything seemed so perfect at TY's wedding. He's got what he wanted, a wife that owns 8 regional titles from scientifical concepts to world innovative mecha theories. They both manage to pronounce "I do" in the most beautiful and perfect pronounciation that none of the guests can possibly conjure. The windows shined extra bright and lightened the once dark depths of his camera studio, now set to be the perfect stage for his prime moment. This was truly a blessed and joyful for all those who knew TY. Even the pastor felt his troubled throat clear up instantly and everyone was filled with the presense of God.
Then, human emotion kicked in during the wedding dinner where the couple were supposed to recite their own words, love confessions for each other. The bride starts to get nervous, a feeling she had never experienced before in her many speech battles. Indeed, she was shy. TY was not consoling her much either, he had already prepared for such critical moments since childbirth. Music poured in like a thousand rainbows, TY got Sabrina to sing with the help of a hidden jukebox to play as backup so all she needed to do was gawk her mouth. Apparently not many other performers passed his quality check test in order to be recruited. This included a minor breath test for acidic residue. Right after that, Sook Yan was seen performing the belly dance. Apparently, she must've gotten that Bollywood contract. For the finale, TY had the whole plan covered by coercing Glorie to perform her legendary dancing moves which was a fusion of hip-hop and fencing properties.
Soon later, the bride met up with one of the party's prestigiuous guests, Zhang Zhe, who further confused her by giving a few tips on ancient chinese poetry scripting. Uncalm and lost, the bride hid in the toilet where she decided to use the "converse with mirror trick". Suddenly, TY's mother steps in and greets her good luck and expresses her hopes of TY's ever perfect poem be responded with another 10k foot long poetry by the bride. Frustrated by the request of her newly "loved" mother-in-law, the bride starts wrecking her long lovely hair and tore her custom tailored gown. As she walked out of the ladies, she walked past a waiter, grabbed a glass of martini and choked in down hard for one last final charge of courage. The guests remained silent and TY was too drunk to notice as he was too busy challenging Mark with all the booze there was as he was known as "BoozeBear Mark". Ben, me, Jordan, YK, Cheng Wai and Penny were all snickering at one corner, though we did wonder why we got the back row table.
TY began muttering the sounds of heavenly chemistry formulae despite his drowsy state. The romantic night sky almost turned
Bunsen blue. As he finished, the latter handed the microphone to his beloved and even put on a listening device to make it all more memorable. The bride opened her mouth but only crooked, twisted and horrid forms of grammar came out. She tried and tried, covering up few parts saying "testing, testing" but it was too late. The damage had been done. TY's ears began to bleed and two "X"s formed the cornea on his eyes.
The guests didnt say a thing and left soon afterwards without even shaking hands. Whoever decided on inviting such none-responsive and empty minded guests in the first place? No matter, last I heard TY got Alvin and Daniel to handle the guest list. Since no one appreciated the buffet, the mamak gang took it to their liberty instead. As the bride signed the divorce letter handed by TY's parents she took one last glimpse at the same waiter she got the glass from.... the nametag read "Yasir"
Disclaimer: The authors of the passage is not held to any reposibility upon it. Any similarities of the passage upon real life is merely coincidence.
Thank You.
Authors: Calvin, Ben
Critics:
The Sultanate Division of Rambutan Orchard: Greatest work ever made. Filled with creativity and suspense
Rating 9.5/10
